This is sometimes difficult to understand and harder still to accept but here it is: Bad things happen. Sorry, but that's it. Bad things happen. These bad things are not of God's creation. They are of our creation. Well, that may not be the most accurate choice of words when it comes to tornadoes or such, however it is not God that puts us in the path of nature's destruction. Now you are probably saying, "How could God stand by and let this happen?" This is getting to the point of it all. Remember that whole "made in His image" thing? Well part of that is a certain dominion over the world. We are capable of creation and destruction. We are given a world in which creation is challenging but rewarding and destruction is easy but has consequences. Not all the costs of destruction end up being paid by the destructer. That is just how it is when you share the same world. One of our responsibilities as caretakers of this world is to our brothers and sisters present and future.
All this may sound too global and general to apply to our situation today or to the death of a loved one. Here's the thing. The bad is here. You or I may not have created it but we (the human race) have. Weather you believe the specifics of Adam & Eve's story and how original sin created death, the fact is that it's part of our world and it happens. As for God standing by, that's where it may be easy to miss but God is there. He will not undo our destruction but he provides us a way out. He takes on the blame of it by no less than giving His only Son's life! Then when you think you can not get through the suffering and grief he provides a way. It sometimes comes in the form of another person he places in your life. Someone to be there to help you through. Someone often without even their own understanding is able to be there with just the right words or just the shoulder to cry on. Today we may loose one of these unwitting angels of God. This angel may have been blinded to God's Grace by all the heartache he has seen but I pray if he has not seen It that a Just God will take into account his occupational handicap.