Forgiveness

Forgiveness is difficult for many but I never really thought that I ever had much of a problem with it.  Could I be wrong?

I've always considered myself very tolerant of others shortcomings knowing I had plenty myself.  Even if someone did me wrong in some way, I am rarely angry and fairly quick to forgive. I guess I do not take things personally and that is why you have to be a very close friend to ever have a chance to get me angry.

Resentment blame and bitterness are quiet smaller friends of anger. When the anger is gone, or even if you never let it in, anger will leave his little friends behind. They will sit quietly in a corner and you'll hardly know they are there. But they are there.

I've been praying to find forgiveness in someone else's heart.  But I heard a sermon from Pastor John Pollock of Freedom Life Church that made me realize I may be praying for the wrong thing.

Pastor John was speaking about John 8 when they brought in a woman caught in adultery. "... But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger." As the woman likely stood with her had held down in shame facing the ground, Pastor John conjectured what Jesus may have written. He may have written her name. He may have written "I Am Jehovah."  The conversation in the sand continued in my mind; "I am your creator and I made you beautiful. I made you to be more than this."

If you think about what it was like for that woman to not just stand before her whole community but to literally stand before her maker.  Well that's what I was thinking about and how tremendous is His grace to say to her "Then neither do I condemn you."
For Him, the offense was personal and she deserved her fate yet He held her blameless as He does me. I could relate to that woman as one who is in awe at the forgiving grace of God.

Then Pastor John said something that shook me like I was woken from a dream.  He asked if I could relate to Jesus!  If we could all follow the calling to be more like Jesus.  To forgive when it's the most personal.  To hold blameless those to whom blame is due.

That is when I caught a glimpse of what I have allowed to live quietly in the dark corners of my own life.  I cannot do anything more than ask forgiveness from others.  Once asked I needn't even be concerned.  But of those whom I would ask accountability I shall instead offer forgiveness and hold blameless.

BLAME, what is it good for?

More than money, it can be said about blame that it is the root of all evil.  Blame is a shortcut to satisfy a psychological need to solve problems in our life.  When we perceive the solution to be out of our reach or just too difficult to think about, we are tempted to use blame as a sort of self deception so we can say to ourselves that we have done all we can and the rest is "their" fault.  Blame is often confused with, or disguised as, finding the cause of something.  The difference is that a cause will accompany a proposal of a solution or step toward a solution while blame is stated as the excuse not to find a solution or worse in order to imply a final solution to rid ourselves of the scapegoat.  It is so easy to place blame on a faceless group that it almost feels good to do it.

When blame is used in our personal lives it can lead to a life of inaction and feeling helpless in the face of all the things we blame for or own condition.  As children we are taught that we are not in control of certain things in our life. As adults many of us hang on to blame as a mechanism to avoid taking full responsibility for ourselves. Finding a way to forgive can help overcome the habit of using blame of people from our past.

Blame placed on collective groups of people has been proven through history to lead to death and destruction.  Germany blamed the Jews for much of their troubles before WWII.  In fact Jews are maybe history's most popular scapegoat and still used today.  But communist China today encourages it's people to blame Japan for their woes and Europe has been throwing blame around between countries forever.  Closer to home here in the US, the political zeitgeist is to blame the Republicans, Democrats, the Tea Party or just all of congress or the government in general.

To use a popular current example where blame is thrown around so much that no solution is in sight: In the US government partial shutdown congress is one big target but the blame does not stop with congress. Ted Cruz for example campaigned and was elected for the explicit purpose of doing everything he can to stop obamacare. His constituents (employers) sent him to Washington to stop what they consider an outright wrong and immoral law.  Congress is constitutional responsible for the budget because it is closest to the people.  So you can't blame Ted Cruz for not funding obamacare without blaming each and every one of his constituents.  Obama is constitutionally responsible for executing the laws and thus, in the absence of a specific budget, is responsible for what parts of the government are shut down.  But just like Ted Cruz, Obama was reelected after his signature trans-formative law was passed, so I'm sure he believes it to be a moral imperative that it be funded.  Also like Ted Cruz you cannot blame Obama without passing that blame directly to each and every voter that voted for him or did not exercise their right to vote.  It is obvious that no solution is found no matter where we place the blame.

Can an old dog teach you a new trick?

Did you ever train a dog? Well here's the secret behind that... sitting up or rolling over were never the point. The lessons were about responsibility and knowing the limits of one's ability to control. That's right, the lessons were for you! Chances are, if you got anywhere, you figured out that it was no use blaming the dog. You reward or discipline the dog in order to get the desired result. You may have even figured out that the reward worked best. But did you learn the trick? Or is there an old dog out there rolling over and showing you up? The trick you were supposed to learn is how to deal with every other person in your life. Trust me, you will find few that can be controlled like a dog but the principal is the same. You have no more reason to make demands and place expectations on a person than you do on a dog. If you think I am saying people are like dogs you are already forgetting that the lessen is about you. It's just that if a person, or a dog, does not do as you expect then you only have yourself to blame. Don't take it too hard though. Some just take a little longer to train.
Here's a tip (not to take too seriously); when trying to control a person there is no better place to connect the leash than at the wallet. ;)